If you haven't checked out Megan Fox's latest Esquire interview, it's one of the most bizarre things we've ever read.
Beginning with a long, detailed description of an Aztec human sacrifice, the author tries to loosely parallel the act to Megan Fox's Hollywood career, by referring to her as the last American Bombshell.
Vice has referred to it as "the worst thing ever written" while others have taken to Twitter to poke fun at some of the descriptions, (at one point her brow is pegged as a camouflaged butterfly"), and her even stranger quotes.
Throughout the piece, Fox is compared to buffalos, describes her love of the Book of Revelation, and shares about speaking in tongues at a young age.
The entire thing sounds transcendent, like something out of a sci-fi movie.
We've gathered some of the weirdest bits from the interview.
In case you were confused, Fox is not an ancient Aztec, but her life is similar to that of an human sacrifice.
"Megan Fox is not an ancient Aztec. She's a screen saver on a teenage boy's laptop, a middle-aged lawyer's shower fantasy, a sexual prop used to sell movies and jeans.
'It's so similar. It totally is,' she says quietly.
At the end of the year, the beautiful youth had to go up by himself. He had to go up willingly. That was part of the deal. Now she is shaking her head. "Not everyone understands that that's the deal," she says. Megan Fox will not go willingly to have her heart cut out."
(Esquire)
Fox is the last bombshell ever ... and because of that can be compared to buffalo.
"To be a bombshell in 2013 is to be an antiquity, an old-world relic … Bombshells once used to roam the cultural landscape like buffalo, and like buffalo they were edging toward extinction."
(Esquire)
Fox is preparing for the end of days ... and is completely comfortable with the Antichrist (who she mentions once throughout the interview).
"I've read the Book of Revelation a million times," Megan Fox says. "It does not make sense, obviously. It needs to be decoded. What is the dragon? What is the prostitute? What are these things? What is this imagery? What was John seeing? And I was just thinking, What is the Antichrist?"
(Esquire)
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