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Chasing Phantoms: Everything You Need To Know About The 'Mad Men' Season Finale

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"My friend down there, she was wondering: Are you alone?" — a blonde to Don Juan Draper

The season five finale of "Mad Men" ended on both a high and low note: although SCDP is rolling in dough (apparently it had a great insurance policy in case a partner died), almost everyone's personal life has gone to shit. Unless, of course, you're Roger and gallivanting around, butt-naked in newly-single bliss. See the slideshow for photo evidence.

The relationship that has the most to lose, of course, is Don's. The season opened with the honeymoon phase. Smitten with Megan, we held our collective breath whenever Don encountered a beautiful woman and he, surprisingly, barely took notice. Well times they are a-changing. In the final seconds of an overall sleepy finale — to accommodate all of the characters' clinical depression — Don looks up from his Old Fashioned at the beautiful brunette whose friend propositions him on her behalf, intrigued, as he ... faded to black!?! Why, producers, why?

Titled "The Phantom," Don battled the ghost of his past as other characters chased other phantoms, be it their careers or past relationships.

"It will go away—it always does."

Raise your hand if you were surprised that Don is the kind of guy who refuses to see a doctor, or in this case dentist, when he's sick.

Yeah, that's what we thought. 

Months after Lane's death, Don experienced both emotional and physical pain as he suffers from a toothache of epically symbolic proportions. As he fights his rotting tooth, Don relents to his guilt and begins to see images of his half-brother, Adam.

When Don finally goes to a dentist and gets laughing gas, his drug induced vision is far more depressing than Roger's dalliance with LSD. He sees Adam, who is sporting a noose-shaped bruise on his neck to remind Don of the eerie similarities in their deaths. "You're in bad shape, Dick. It's not your tooth that's rotten."

Uh oh.



"Don't worry, I'll hang around. Get it?"

We do.



"I've been very blue."

Rory Gilmore/Beth and her side boob made another appearance in the show's season finale. She runs into Pete on her train into the city with her husband, who is checking her into a mental hospital to undergo electric shock therapy for being "blue." (Because this was a time when husbands could institutionalize their wives for the blues or, say, cheating).

Her final wish before the treatment erased her memories was to sleep with Pete one last time. "Please, please, give me this." Really? Well, that wouldn't be our first choice, or even in our top five, but we went with it. 

When they're in post-coital bliss, Pete, apparently under the impression that he ejaculates high doses of Lithium, asks,  "Don't tell me you don't feel better?" She doesn't. She gets the treatment. She forgets who Pete is while we worry that he's going to hurl himself out of the hospital window.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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